|Power Girl activated the Pregno Ray (in between giggles), Johnny Storm got Lyra naked, and Black Widow played Twenty Questions with Ms. Marvel. Playboy TV dream sequence? No, just last week's comics. Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.|
Skin to Win
In this issue, part of the Fall of the Hulks arc, the Intelligencia (a new group of super-smart super-villains) re-groups a new version of the Frightful Four to neutralize the Fantastic Four. How does this work into the Hulk storyline? The Intelligencia wants to eliminate the possible competition while they have the element of surprise. So Wizard squares off against Reed Richards, Klaw attacks the Invisible Woman, newcomer Lyra battles the Human Torch, and the Trapster (in a callback to his days as Paste Pot Pete!) levels a smackdown on the Thing via a mouthful of asphyxiating resin.
As always, Johnny "Human Torch" Storm gets the best draw as he squares off against the comely Lyra -- who will have the disadvantage in all future match-ups with the flame-hurler until Victoria's Secret comes out with its hotly anticipated asbestos line.
Lyra: That was a mistake.
With sharp aim and Vision...
Mighty Avengers # 33
Meanwhile, in Mighty Avengers, our heroes square off against the ubiquitous Norman Osborn, his dark Avengers and the Absorbing Man -- who has absorbed the power of the infinitely powerful Cosmic Cube!
Hercules, holding aloft the Vision plans a counter-strike.
Vision: Not to question your stratagem, Hercules, but --
All will be... well...
Blackest Night: The Flash #2
Did somebody say 'rogue?'
As the vaunted Rogues do battle against former-Rogues-turned-Black-Lanterns, Captain Cold squares off against his resurrected dead sister, the Golden Glider. Living up to his name, the bad captain dispatches her with relative ease. Cold, indeed. At the same moment, the resurrected Barry Allen Flash battles the resurrected Black Lantern Reverse Flash and the reincarnated Black Lantern Bart Allen Impulse. He receives a timely assist from Wally West Flash.
Wally: I thought the Reverse Flash was alive.
"I'll have what he's having."
A recently-former Thunderbolts crew-member is hoping a little of that resurrection stuff is coming his way sometime soon.
As the Thunderbolts face off against the Agents of Atlas, the Uranian and Jimmy Woo take a field trip through the psyche of T'bolter Scourge. Disguised as superior officers in the tortured soldier's mind, they leave a little present for Norman Osborn.
Uranian: Sergeant Simpson, the Pentagon has a crucial mission for you. Your direct supervisors have been infiltrated. You answer to a traitor to his country When next you see this man (Osborn) in person, you must break your cover and use any available means to terminate with extreme prejudice.
Uranian: I'm not certain whether Frank Simpson's programming will work as intended. I should have spent more time there.
The Uranian's foreshadowing is interrupted as they sense the presence of Ghost, who seems to have hitched a ride to merely provide a cover story for his upcoming guest spot in Iron Man. Meanwhile, back at Thunderbolt Mountain, Osborn has a message for his troops and calls them to huddle around a holographic image of his face. The subconscious cue is thus activated, and Scourge pull out his firearm and blasts at the visage of his leader... with the Headsman, standing directly (and unfortunately) opposite.
Killed instantly, and fittingly, by a head shot.
So, when Black Lanterns curse at each other, do they now say, "Aw, go to Mogo?"
Green Lantern Corps #44
In a remarkable turn-of-events, Green Lantern Mogo -- a planet -- adjusts its orbit to ride to the rescue of the Green Lantern home base, Oa. The Black Lanterns have successfully toppled the central power battery, and are running amok. That is, until Mogo cranks up its gravitational pull and transports everyone -- Black Lanterns, blue ones, green... the whole rainbow of ring-slingers -- to his surface.
But it's the DC Zombies who taste the wrath of an angry planet. They're deposited on the surface and engulfed by a green, grassy field for a little taste of recycling, up close and personal.
Mogo: All the Black Lanterns will be pulled through each stratum of my being. They will be torn asunder and diffused. Sifted into atoms. Until all that is left of them... will be drawn to my core... where they will forever be superheated and prevented from re-forming. In other words, my fellow Lanterns... they will burn for all eternity.
Oh, Mogo, you've done it again...
And after this, 'spin the bottle' right? ...Right??
Black Widow and the Marvel Girls #3
After thwarting a robotic minion of Red Skull, Ms. Marvel approaches Black Widow with a popular soroity party game.
Ms. Marvel: Time to start playing Twenty Questions.
The first step is admitting you have a problem (and the second step is admitting you have the "power of a thousand exploding suns")
Dark Avengers #13
In a pivotal chapter in the Dark Avengers storyline, Sentry's wife, Lidy, lets us in on a little secret about her husband's origin story. It's a publicity spin. In actuality, young Bobby Reynolds broke into the professor's lab looking for a fix. He was a meth-head. And like all junkies, he's been chasing the high ever since.
Along the way, Lindy breaks into a rather poetic deconstruction of what it means to be a superhero.
Lindy: I've seen what kind of special man it takes to weild power. To control it. To not let it control you. It takes a special man of integrity and spirit. A 'one in a million' man. And maybe you can blame Bob for not being that man, and maybe that's just not fair -- but he never was. He was never Captain America. Only Captain America is, really. That's what makes him Captain America. Bob was not and never would be that guy. He wasn't wired that way. he was something else. But then I realized that -- that an addict is an addict. Instead of drugs... it became about power. He was addicted to the Sentry... That's what happens when someone who doesn't eserve the power gets the power.
I love any comic in which the following line can be delivered with a straight face: "Foxious Garnercus, Valeron's greatest scientific mind, created the fertilization room."
Power Girl #8
OK. That... and this charming exchange between Power Girl and her would-be suitor.
Vartox: I just had this entire floor remodeled in anticipation of your arrival.
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